"Live life on purpose ~ not by accident" ~ Alicia

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there."
-- Author Unknown

"A laugh is a smile that bursts.” ~ Mary H. Waldrip

"Set your goals high and don't be deterred by those who say it is impossible." ~ Steve Fossett

"Our Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless."
Jamie Paolinetti

"A day without laughter ~ is a day wasted"
Charlie Chaplin

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

"Gratitude is an inner smile shared" ~ Alicia

Friday, October 1, 2010

My New Reality ©

Hello My friends,
Here comes a poem ~
I have no idea what I am going to write
but here goes...
My new reality.
My new life.
How do you like your life?
Tough times for everyone these days.
Sure are.
My new reality includes many things
needles, chemotherapy, so much medication.
Getting used to side effects
bruises, foggy head, meds to get rid of the foggy head,
forget it ~ I don't even want to go there.
My new reality is one I have to accept
and I hate it. Yup, I said it. The optimist ~
I hate my new reality.
Not only do I have to accept it ~
I have to get used to it, abide by it, obey my body
or else.
I know what will happen if I don't ~
I see my future ~ My mom is in a nursing home
since she was 59. She still doesn't obey her body.
That can't be me. I am 43.
Lost two careers so far. Both companies said I wasn't sick.
So no money either.
At least my old reality was prosperous, so I saved.
Saved for my kids education, for my retirement.
I guess, I saved for my new reality.
My New Reality is sitting on a heating pad all day.
Not able to visit my mom, or friends, for heaven's sake.
Not supposed to do stuff around the house either, or I'll get worse.
But how much can be stripped away
Until I have nothing left. Nothing. No joy.
I pray for others every day, I pray that this process works.
The meds work. They are starting to.
I thought last week was a breakthrough. Nope.
Thank God I have a beautiful home, because I am here all the time.
I feel I limit my families life. Their new reality.
I hope my words help someone not feel alone.
Perhaps helps a loved one understand what we may not be able to express.
I have to get this out or I am afraid I will explode.
Anger is brewing, frustration, am I going to get better?
Is it worth it to take this poison shot every week, feel sick,
go backwards...only to get a little bit better?
God help me, I hope so
I just don't know how to accept
My New Reality.
Healing Hugs,


Susan said...

Alicia, I love what you wrote. I feel the same as I'm off prednisone and the pain is terrible. How can I be a follower to your blog?

When my blog is a bit more up and running I'd love for you to follow mine too. Although yours is much better maybe I can help you too.

love you Alicia! Keep writing please.

Alicia of You Empowered Coaching said...

Thank you Susan!
I do believe that becoming a follower is very easy. If you click on be a follower, you can follow the instructions and even be anonymous. I am an "accidental blogger" so, I am not technical! I bet I wouldn't be able to do it either! Thank you for your words. Feedback helps all of us. This was about as raw as I have ever been. Hugs ~ Alicia