Hello my friends ~
as I sit here in my rocking chair
as usual...
I am supposed to feel hope.
But I don't.
I should feel excited ~
but I'm not.
It would be great if I were grateful
but I am pissed off.
What is up with me?
Fear.
The four letter word.
Sure I write about thriving
living life with everything you have.
But today...I am afraid.
Everyone around me says
"it's only an infusion"
but they take Advil.
I take many pills a day
plus inject live proteins.
Sure, I should be honored that researchers
are trying to cure my disease...
but my RA is eating me alive.
Bone by bone
ligament by ligament.
It.must.be.stopped!
Nothing has worked so far.
Now I can't even use my hands for yoga.
Now I must do Chair yoga -
I should be grateful I can modify again...
but not today.
Not now.
Gotta get ready to go to Boston
Try my fourth drug ...
the infusion...
and be happy about it ~
everyone else is.
I just want to get out of this eff'ing
Rocking chair
and join my family.
Please work, Lord
Oh, God, let this one work.
Healing hugs,
Alicia
