Clearing the debris from my healing trail...and my mind©

Hello my friends
A hurricane came by for a visit yesterday...
wreaked a little havok~
and now, we are picking up the pieces
left behind.

As I walked along my healing trail today
with my dog, Tyler and cat, Sassy ~
and my walking stick ~
helping me clear the debris from the trail~
my healing trail~

I couldn't help but think of all of you.
All of us.
Life.

We all get hit by storms in our lives~
sometimes, a little rain storm blows over...
no big deal.
We can handle it.  
We don't need "life tools" to help us with those.

But sometimes, we get hit with Hurricanes in life~
sometimes life even throws us a tornado during it.
Throw in a flood, lightning strike and BAM ~
What the heck.   WE don't know WHAT to do.

I am talking about life situations...and they are happening~
to all.of.us.  Everyday.
Jobs.  Relationships.   Fears.   Housing.  College.
Career changes.    Parents aging.   
Finally, our own health...it is in a scary place.  
For me, I have all of the above...and with only being 44,
I have had to learn fast ~
To build tools for my "life's toolbox"©

Think of the debris that gets in the way everyday when you wake...
worry, fear, anxiety...
If you let it ~
if we let it.

Or, you can get a walking stick...and gently brush it away.
Build a support system, faith, friends that truly understand,
brush away your fears, branch by branch -
leaf by leaf...in your way...
on your healing trail.
To peace of mind ~ and better health.

Healing hugs,
Alicia

Getting Better as I go© ~ Originally Posted in Oct '10

My Friends, how are you doing?

Wow is this a roller coaster ride I am on!?

But then again, aren't we all ~

unless, well, the other option is not too good.

Last time I wrote

My New Reality ©

phew ~ that was so hard to get on paper

but I needed to.

Time has passed

I have reached a new milestone

with my medication, my disease ~

10 weeks with the injection.

Being self aware

and always making observations

sometimes it seems like I am on the periphery

of my own life

When your life gives you a situation

out of your control

and you are a person who loves

to be in control

life gets confusing

and difficult

and the process of observing what is

and comparing it to what was

is overwhelming.

Unless. Unless...

I look at this as my opportunity.

WHAT? Oh, there I go.

Unless ~ somehow, this is a blessing.

Perhaps, just maybe, someone, somewhere

couldn't handle this pain.

Perhaps, just maybe, someone, somewhere

couldn't handle this fatigue.

Lord knows I have built my character

with all of my life's challenges.

But, if my inner strength, my ability

to be an optimist in the middle of hell...

If that is a way that someone is saved

by this disease.

I will learn how to handle it.

My family and friends will help.

So, my friends, am I getting better as I go?

Yeah. Better. Wiser. Stronger.

Is my pain gone? No. Fatigue gone? No.

I am just trying to figure out how to play this

hand that life has dealt me.

Healing hugs.

Alicia

Suit up and show up for life, my friends!

Hello my friends ~
I know it has been a long summer and
I've been away from all of you a lot.
Due to the fact that I was applying
for help, I couldn't even show that I could
type once a day or a week.
Good news is that I finally have security.

Not what I went to school 11 years at night for...
but, "Life Happened" to me.
Now I am learning to deal with it
like a women with dignity and grace.
Throw in a few crying bouts and
thoughts of what if's, and "wish I could..."
and there you have it.

So, many of you have been asking me ~
"what the heck has been going on?"
A LOT!
My doctors and I just also learned that
while I have been on 3 excellent drugs
~the MRI was expected to show that
after one year on a DMARD, a new
Biologic, and Methotrexate, I should
be stable or a little better.

Are you ready for this?
Can you say Erosion ~ Joint destruction
tearing of ligaments ~
As my PCP said, It is a systemic disease,
and if it is eroding your hand, and you have
symptoms in other places, absolutely, you could
have potential joint erosion/ligament tearing
in other places.  (like my feet/hips/shoulders).
JOY.

Her goal is to get me to take advantage of ALL
that Boston Rheumatology has to offer, to keep me
functional and mobile.  

I nearly always wear my sneakers...without laces.
Not even my Naturalizer sandals.  My heels hurt
walking.  So wearing them really help.

I haven't even been able to do yoga.
My dear friend Elizabeth, who is my yoga instructor
said, "come to the studio - even in your sneakers".
Bless her heart.

It is a new day, a new start, new outlook...
I went for a nice walk with my dog and cat today.
It is beautiful out here.   I am doing ok.   Spine is
yucky, but oh well.   Feet are good.   Going to go
to gentle yoga Wednesday and see my old friends.
Can't wait.

At first the news, in black and white, scared the
sh*& out of me.   Now, I am praying that the
infusions and Methotrexate are going to get me
into remission...or at least to be able to do yoga
everyday again (modified to heck!)

So, my friends...life is a journey.   You can piss and
moan about taking a pill, or 27, or taking a shot or
infusion, but at the end of the day...
we are on the right side of the daisies.

What are you grateful for today?
I am grateful for financial security...however small it is.
The ability to reach out to my friends and family again
on FB.
Everyday, knowing I have a choice to suit up and show 
up for life...and take beautiful souls with me on my journey.
So grateful for my family that has really rode this rollercoaster
with me...and even chops the fruit & veggies and waters the flowers!

How about you?

Healing hugs,
Alicia

PS...I really missed you all :)

Are you coming over? ©

"Friends are angels who lift our feet when our own wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
-- Author Unknown


Hello my friends ~
Here is a poem I just wrote for us today!


Are you coming over?©


Fear
of losing you...of losing me
I've already lost
abilities I had my whole life.


The only thing in life 
that matters...to me
is love
life...time...together.


I may not be in 
the body I used to be in.
But I am still here
Loving you.


Day by day
I lose a little...
But I gain
so much...clarity


With pain as my 
constant companion.
I sure miss the days
Where I just went...did...ANYTHING!


For years now, I've had hope
to get those days back.
Perhaps, you have too~
Hope is good...sometimes...most times~


Now, I must move on
You are welcome to join me!
My life awaits!
It is very simple...


Not what it used to be...
But fun just the same...


Are you coming over?


Healing hugs, 
Alicia


"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there."
-- Author Unknown