"Live life on purpose ~ not by accident" ~ Alicia

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there."
-- Author Unknown

"A laugh is a smile that bursts.” ~ Mary H. Waldrip

"Set your goals high and don't be deterred by those who say it is impossible." ~ Steve Fossett

"Our Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless."
Jamie Paolinetti

"A day without laughter ~ is a day wasted"
Charlie Chaplin

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

"Gratitude is an inner smile shared" ~ Alicia

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Life Period©

Life period

My friends, I truly hope this blog finds you
in good spirits, and in a good place.

I am away ~ replenishing my heart, my soul
looking at a lake and mountains...my favorite place.
I am taking my mom with me.

For those of you who follow me know that
my mom was my official "blog consultant"!
Oh, she loved my blog...but loved the position!

I had a bucket list this year...during my battle with RA
It had one thing on it.
Go visit ma - when she isn't in a hospital.

One day I felt well enough, and she was well enough,
and I went for it.   To everyone's surprise...including mine.
Travelling was difficult, but we had a blast...a simple blast.

We spoke nearly everyday until her phone recently started to act up.
Then I sent her money to buy a new phone.   It didn't make it
in time.

You see, my mom and I had a similar life.   Simple.  But full of pain,
fatigue and complicated medical issues that are difficult for others
to understand.   And yet, we still try to bring joy to others and keep
an optimistic outlook.   But with each other, we understood.

Life period.

We both lived the same life.   We got there differently, but we feel
the same pain and limitations put on our lives.  Nothing we wanted.
We were both go getters....with spirit!

On Sept 4th, suddenly, my mom passed away - a non-smoker.  Bless
her soul.   She had to die suddenly to be able to stay off the cigarettes.

I have taken some time to reflect, write, paint, and just grieve...I lost
my dad at 16, so I know death.   But losing my Mom now, whoa this is tough.  

Two days before she died, I was getting a new infusion...my 4th treatment.  On the way home from Boston, I called ~ I said "Ma, I feel it working!  I know I'll be able to visit you more now!"

Life period.

What is my point? I have decided to take my mom with me everywhere and show her the things I love.  She didn't travel much.  I am going to ask her for strength so I can heal my body.

Life period is difficult.   Many have it easier, many have it harder. Who is the judge?  Not me.  I have to be thankful for the great lessons I have learned everyday from my ma.  She turned into the woman she always wanted to be. For that I am so grateful for her spirit.  She had a goal, and that was to make others smile.  Pure and simple joy - and she lived in a nursing home since 59...died at 64.  Bless her.

Everyday is a battle with pain and fatigue...and modifying my ability to walk, to exercise...sometimes to just cook or walk the dog.   And yet, I plan to get through this and live in the now.   I have to get better, and if this is my hand I am dealt ~ I am on the path of acceptance of my new life I never saw coming.  But it is life period.

I do have so many blessings, and I have to focus on those and stay in today - not yesterday's sadness - or tomorrows worries.  You all know what I mean.

Without my mom as mutual support...it will be difficult, but if you have lost someone too, we can always have them with us...just talk to them in your heart and take them with you always.  That is what I am going to do.  

I was going to stop blogging...but even my daughter said - "you should
write, mom".   So, my friends...it isn't my best, but it is from my heart.

So, Ma...is it blog worthy?  Can I hit publish...?  Ok - here it goes.   Thanks Ma ~
you can still help me from heaven.

Healing hugs,