My healing trail

Hello my friends! I hope you are enjoying this transition into a new season ~

Here in New England we have the traditional seasons and all the glory that

encompass each one.

For me ~ I love the diversity of each season. Right now, on my trail, the leaves are changing ~

Some trees are starting to sprinkle the trail with their bright colored leaves. It is refreshing to

my soul on days when I feel a little like a lifeless tree. Taking my dog and my cat for

a walk on the trail is entertaining. I really feel that the trail, the fresh air, the oneness and simplicities of nature and the joy of my animals ~ are healing me.

Some days, like today ~ I will only make it to my crazy tree. That is about 50 feet. But

in that 50 feet, I look at my crazy tree and I think of how I coach teens that they can

grow any direction they want, just grow ~ like that tree. The crazy tree is my tree ~ a

reflection of my personality.

Those who know me well, especially before RA took my spark away ~ know I am just

like the tree (the picture is on my blog). Different, kooky, fun, free spirited, love to

dance, be free, sing, growing and changing along my path that we call life. I have told

my teens, my kids ~ look around, there is no reason for the tree to grow like that! All the

other trees grow straight. Not my crazy tree! I love it.

So, today is my day after "jab day" ~ Monday, Monday - dah dah, dah dah dah dah...

I am always very sick today. My love really tried to put it in perspective ~ "Babe,

the great thing is, you will only be sick one day or so and then you start to feel better."

Sure thing. It is far better than before. And it is helping! But, as I mentioned to my Brit...

imagine every week of your life knowing you were going to have a really bad flu for 36 -48 hours with bad body aches, no energy, just feeling lousy. It still isn't easy. Or joyful. Or pleasant. However ~ it is my life.

So, I get ready to take my dog, and my cat out for a stroll ~ and we'll slowly go on the trail.

I'll smile as I watch my cat take short cuts and take the lead. Laugh at the dog as he tries

to catch a chipmunk. "Talk" to my cat, who just won't stop talking to me the whole way.

And be grateful that I live in such a beautiful place. My home to heal.

Healing hugs,

Alicia

What RA has given ~ what has it taken away? ©

My friends ~ by now you are getting to know me a little.

Poems just flow from my fingers, so here goes...

one for my friends and family.

RA has given me answers as to why I am so sick

and taken away the questions as to what is so wrong

RA has given me a needle to take

but has taken away my fear to do it myself

RA has given me a world that is very small

and yet has taken away the boundries of communication all around the globe

Rheumatoid Arthritis has forced me to take care of myself

and yet, two careers were taken while listening to my doctor

RA has given me time on my hands

but has taken away my full ability to use them

RA has deepened friendships that take the time to understand

and also taken away family and friends that didn't.

RA has given me humility

and taken away my pride

RA has given me lots of time with ice on my shoulder and heat on my back

and taken away the ability to travel freely and joyfully without pain

RA has given me perspective, hope, new friends, deeper love

and taken away ~ little by little ~ my fear of asking for help.

Healing hugs,

Alicia

Still an Eternal Optimist? Always!

My friends ~ it has been a while since I blogged ~ I was feeling a little exposed, to be perfectly honest. Not only that, but I was getting adjusted to this whole new diagnosis, new meds, new life. I like to view myself as the eternal optimist and I wasn’t feeling very optimistic, positive or hopeful. Actually, I was kinda grumpy. The meds (Mtx - chemo drug) orally, nearly ruined 7 weeks of my summer and my kids' summer. I feel so guilty being sick. Not that I can do anything about it. The medicine made it so I couldn’t eat and couldn’t go anywhere ~ I still had so much pain & fatigue. Thank God I had the option of taking it by injection. Yup, I am taking my meds with a shot now. All by myself. Was I petrified? Oh yeah. Why did I do it myself? I had a friend offer to help me every week, Derek offered too...but I have read that so many people with Rheumatoid Arthritis stop treatment, or don’t take the meds they should because of fear of needles. As a Life Coach ~ I wanted to overcome my fear ~ and fast ~ so I can help others. This disease needs to be stopped! It eats your cartilage, erodes your bones and tendons. If you don’t take the medicine, it will advance. I don’t want that for my friends with RA, I don’t want that for me. If you have RA and are reading this ~ don’t be afraid of the needles ~ it is quick and easy. Take it from a scaredy cat! Once I changed to taking my meds via a shot ~ my life, our lives, improved dramatically. I could eat again! I started to get the fog to lift (those with RA know). If you don’t have RA ~ think of how you feel when you have a hangover ~ that fuzzy feeling. We have that, but worse, every single day (without the benefit of a fun night out.) That is the systemic part of the disease,the fatigue and malaise. I started to get a bit more energy. The pain and stiffness hasn’t changed much, but this improvement in energy enabled me to take my son to our friends’ place on a lake! It took us until the end of the summer for me to have the energy to do something fun away from home ~ but I finally did it! Gratitude. So, my life is getting better! Whoo hoo ~ I wish I could do a cartwheel, but I have my shoulder in a sling! Oh well. :) You know, this disease has shown me so many things, I will share them with you. One of them is the power of friendships, new and old. Also, how my family is wonderful and I feel so blessed. Everytime I felt bad for not participating in life, my family would say, it’s cool. So let me know ~ can you relate? What is your story so far. Fill me in. I am in the learning phase. Am I still an eternal optimist? I always will be! Hopefully, some of that will rub off on others. Embrace everyday my friends, good or bad, easy or hard, painfree or painful. Somehow, somewhere, it could be worse. Be grateful for the simplicities of life. Healing Hugs, Alicia