"Live life on purpose ~ not by accident" ~ Alicia

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there."
-- Author Unknown

"A laugh is a smile that bursts.” ~ Mary H. Waldrip

"Set your goals high and don't be deterred by those who say it is impossible." ~ Steve Fossett

"Our Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless."
Jamie Paolinetti

"A day without laughter ~ is a day wasted"
Charlie Chaplin

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

"Gratitude is an inner smile shared" ~ Alicia

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Merry Christmas ~ You are terminated! ©

Christmas is coming fast and furious, my friends!
Last year, on my birthday, the 23rd of this month,
I went to a different Rheumy and was told I had
Mixed Connective Tissue Disease (MCTD), and was put
on a DMARD (Disease modifying anti-rheumatic drug).
It was a wishy washy diagnosis, but I was elated to have an answer.
Or so I thought.
What happened after that was I got sicker and sicker
and went out on disability. I had modified my job to
accomodate all of my district, created coaching
and development programs in various locations. This
enabled me and my team to stay in one place for training
all day ~ (me with my heating pad). This helped for a while.
Plus, it was effective and efficient use of my time.
Unfortunately, my body was too far gone. I needed a new doctor.
Real answers. I got them. I have a persistent form of RA,
and it is not working well with my old treatment (2 DMARD's) ~
making it hard to walk, use my hands, drive, etc...
But my company disagreed. They said I wasn't sick.
They just gave me a great Christmas present.
Merry Christmas Alicia ~ you are terminated!
Truly, someone forgot to tell upper Management, because
the day I got the Cobra paperwork, I got a Wishing you Peace, Joy and
Prosperity Christmas card. Pardon me if I am not happy
about the card. Come on!
So, my friends, I am on a new treatment ~ an Anti - TNF injectable.
A live protein. There is a lot of hope riding on this treatment.
It has been four weeks so far. I wish I could get off one, but with RA,
you need to stay on all of them ~ so now I am on 3 treatments (plus
many other meds).
Here's hoping for a healthier 2011!
2010 has been a year of lessons ~
Here are some of mine:
Humility ~ asking for help.
Courage ~ taking not one, but two painful injections.
Pride ~ telling my friends and family that I can't travel much - but my door is always open.
Fear ~ having to lose my second career and financial security.
Creativity ~ having my mind never stop figuring out what I can do...not what I can't.
Love ~ I was proposed to by my Brit, even though I am bruised, swollen, limping, lame and pretty homebound right now. Not that attractive :)
Re-grouping ~ becoming a great homemaker ~ and accepting that. I have never been one.
Re-focusing ~ figuring out what my future holds and how I can make it happen.
Gains ~ wonderful family and friends who supported me through this life change, a new blog, a new book, new ways of being creative...spending quality time with my friends and family.
Losses ~ functionality, career, stability, people who didn't support me, my sense of independence (for this minute), my freedom to travel, the ability to participate with my family outside the home.
Hope ~ Everyday I wake up, I have a choice - I choose hope.
Gratitude ~ I am grateful for the blessings I do have, even on my tough days. I am even grateful that I can cry. It is ok. This process sucks. But, I have a home full of love and family, a world full of friends ~ a brain full of smarts, and a belly full of laughter to share!
Feel free to email me your thoughts, as usual! I love hearing from you!
All of us, from the USA or Russia, Thailand, England, Denmark or New Zealand ~ all over the
world ~ with or without RA ~ you know, we identify with each other.
Drop me an email again ~ alicia@youempowered.com or comment here to
share with others. You all inspire me.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Healing hugs,


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your job. I would think that is grounds for you to file for Didablility. Know you must be a hard worker or would have given up long before now. Hang in there better times are ahead and go and file for disability and take care of you ! Do what your need to do go get better. I am finding stress right now a huge problem. OF course the holidays are stressful to begin with, but too many other stresses in my life right now. My family is not understanding of this. I have done very well on my meds and I don'tthink any of them realize that I have limits and have to set limits as to how much I can do . I don' t complain much but pace myself yet they still push me beyond my comfort zone. When I set my limit with them they all get very upset with my choice. This causes me more stress. They just don't get it any of them. Yet expect me to go and do for them at the drop of a hat. And it is not appreciated when all is said and done. Good Luck I guess I just needed to vent here has been a very stressful day for me.

Anonymous said...

sorry about the spelling errors my hands have hurt for the past several days.
Good luck and Have a Merry Christmas.

Alicia said...

Thank you for your feedback. I think being honest with our loved ones is one of the hardest adjustments of this disease. How can you describe this life changing diagnosis. However, until we are honest with ourselves and others, we can't move forward. I am glad you are communicating, even though it is not easy. I am too. Keep being courageous, my friend. Merry Christmas!