"Live life on purpose ~ not by accident" ~ Alicia

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there."
-- Author Unknown

"A laugh is a smile that bursts.” ~ Mary H. Waldrip

"Set your goals high and don't be deterred by those who say it is impossible." ~ Steve Fossett

"Our Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless."
Jamie Paolinetti

"A day without laughter ~ is a day wasted"
Charlie Chaplin

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

"Gratitude is an inner smile shared" ~ Alicia

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Life Happened...now what? Choices: 4: ~ Communicate with Friends or Isolate©

"So long as we are loved by others I should say that we are almost indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend."  ~  Robert Louis Stevenson

My friends, as I continue to the top 10 of Life Happened, now what...©
This one may be the hardest one.

One thing I have read about and heard over and over is that RA
is a universally isolating disease.   Whoa.   It doesn't discriminate.
You could've been a vibrant, successful, bubbly, outgoing, high heel
wearing woman...and bam.   Can't get out anymore.   Too embarrassed
to say or do anything about it...really.  That would describe me pretty well.

Perhaps you have tried, like I have, to communicate in round-about ways...

But if we are going to THRIVE, yes, THRIVE, my friends...we have
to get over ourselves.   Our fears.   Stop letting RA rule our lives.
I don't know about you, but Rheumatoid Arthritis has been running my 

We need to tell our friends we need help, and be specific.
For instance, I had a friend over yesterday...I was going to Goodwill and
getting "flatter heels" and more comfortable, yet stylish shoes...before I
give away my beautiful heels...(like 50 of them....I digress).
Well, I gave my friend some shoes...I showed her my new shoes and old
ones.   One pair I couldn't wear because they had laces.    She said "Oh my God,
I had no idea your RA was that bad."


Now, I can tie my shoes, somedays...but I don't get sneakers or shoes with laces
I love to hang with friends...but for now, it is so much easier for me to have friends
Expressing that to my friends.  Helping them understand is crucial for me to not isolate.
I'd love to have friends come over and go grocery shopping and maybe make
a fruit salad together...chill out and enjoy eating it.  
But it is so hard to ask for help.
Yes, I have family, but we all know ~ they carry a lot of the burden...if we could do
some of those things with friends, it could be fun at the same time.  
I don't know about you, but as soon as I am with friends, I turn into a goofball!  
Isn't that what makes life with friends grand?!
What are we so afraid of?  

When we stop getting the invites, it hurts us deeply...we are not cripples,
we are just adjusting to a life that WE DIDN'T ASK FOR....
but we are going to THRIVE...my friends,  WE ARE.
I don't know about you, but fear of not being who I was ~ and admitting that to
myself and others is EXACTLY why it is easier to isolate...

However...we are on this earth for a very short time...and I don't need to tell you
that people with RA... well, I won't finish that sentence...you know what I mean ~
every day is precious.

Let's promise each other...and I mean this
No more isolating  ~
Baby steps, my friends...baby steps ~
and we will thrive and get our life back.
Reach out today and tell a good friend that you want to get together
and what your limitations are ~ be honest
begin your new journey of thriving with RA ~

Share your success stories ~
We all need them to help us
with this challenging disease...
Never forget my friends,
WE are stronger than our disease!

Healing hugs,


Anonymous said...

Alicia, you write beautifully and you ARE beautiful. You will not let this disease take over your life. It's a struggle. I have seen many people struggle with the losses of illness and how their lives have changed, but I can see that so many think the world of you and each day you can let the strength of that love surround you and help you build yours. I tried hard to respond to your FB message but there was a glitch that would not let me. The page kept fading away and I don't know why. I will try again tomorrow.

Each new day will bring challenges but also new hope when you let it in.

Iris Arenson-Fuller

Alicia said...

Thank you Iris...you are right...I am blessed! As we all get the courage to ask for help ~ all of our lives become richer and fuller, and look at what we teach those who are watching us ~ teamwork, friendship and love. ~ alicia