Phew...Thank you steroids! I made it!

"A strong woman stands up for herself.  A stronger woman stands up for everyone else."  ~  Author Unknown

Hello my friends!
It has been a month since I wrote
for all of us!
What a crazy, busy, fun,
but sick and painful month it was!

Here is my quick rundown of
what I had going on...
~My daughter graduating College
an hour away~
~Celebrating afterwards
~A three hour speaking engagement
to write, publish and present as
the "Motivational Speaker"
~My cousin had an Art gallery opening
and had two night events
~getting our basement finished (construction)
and decorated, because my in-laws are coming
from England...
~that included shopping, hard tasks for people
like us.  (never a problem in the old days)
~And finally
~ my son graduated High School
and we had a gathering here to celebrate
his accomplishments!  PHEW!  What FUN!

Trust me, there are more things that I
had on my plate, but you get the picture.
Problem was, my friends, I was back in bed
again...sick.  Having a hard time walking (still am),
and just no energy.  How on earth could I
make it to my children's graduations?
Truly, I was petrified to miss them.  I have
friends with RA that have missed big events
like these - hubby's 50th, children's weddings,  etc...
we can't control our bodies.

What was I going to do?  I called all 4 docs -
Rheumy, Podiatrist, Neuro, and PCP...
All agree with my idea of getting on steroids
again.  4th time this year.  
We believe it HAS to be part of my
regimen or I will be up and down ALL.THE.TIME.

I did make it to all.of.the.events!   PHEW!

It was exhausting, painful like never before,
but so worth it!
I used to worry about the side effects of
steroids, esp. the weight!  My partner said
he loves me just the way I am inside.  He is
battling with me.  When you can't
even get out of bed now...you will take quality
over quantity...as my mom used to say.
I had a decent quality of life this month ~
and it was filled with JOY!
and FEAR!

Those with RA know why...I constantly feared
would I be able to make the graduations?
Would I be able to fufill my speaking engagement?
blah, blah, blah.

So, I have decided to add a little something to my
business cards ~ "The Sneaker Speaker!" HA!
Hey, we have to laugh...our lives are tough, so tough.

I am hoping that this blog brings you a little understanding,
a little hug, a little smile, and most of all ~ knowing that
someone else in this big world is walking in your shoes...
I mean sneakers ~ representing us the best I can.

Healing hugs,
Alicia

Suit up and show up for life, my friends!

Hello my friends ~
I know it has been a long summer and
I've been away from all of you a lot.
Due to the fact that I was applying
for help, I couldn't even show that I could
type once a day or a week.
Good news is that I finally have security.

Not what I went to school 11 years at night for...
but, "Life Happened" to me.
Now I am learning to deal with it
like a women with dignity and grace.
Throw in a few crying bouts and
thoughts of what if's, and "wish I could..."
and there you have it.

So, many of you have been asking me ~
"what the heck has been going on?"
A LOT!
My doctors and I just also learned that
while I have been on 3 excellent drugs
~the MRI was expected to show that
after one year on a DMARD, a new
Biologic, and Methotrexate, I should
be stable or a little better.

Are you ready for this?
Can you say Erosion ~ Joint destruction
tearing of ligaments ~
As my PCP said, It is a systemic disease,
and if it is eroding your hand, and you have
symptoms in other places, absolutely, you could
have potential joint erosion/ligament tearing
in other places.  (like my feet/hips/shoulders).
JOY.

Her goal is to get me to take advantage of ALL
that Boston Rheumatology has to offer, to keep me
functional and mobile.  

I nearly always wear my sneakers...without laces.
Not even my Naturalizer sandals.  My heels hurt
walking.  So wearing them really help.

I haven't even been able to do yoga.
My dear friend Elizabeth, who is my yoga instructor
said, "come to the studio - even in your sneakers".
Bless her heart.

It is a new day, a new start, new outlook...
I went for a nice walk with my dog and cat today.
It is beautiful out here.   I am doing ok.   Spine is
yucky, but oh well.   Feet are good.   Going to go
to gentle yoga Wednesday and see my old friends.
Can't wait.

At first the news, in black and white, scared the
sh*& out of me.   Now, I am praying that the
infusions and Methotrexate are going to get me
into remission...or at least to be able to do yoga
everyday again (modified to heck!)

So, my friends...life is a journey.   You can piss and
moan about taking a pill, or 27, or taking a shot or
infusion, but at the end of the day...
we are on the right side of the daisies.

What are you grateful for today?
I am grateful for financial security...however small it is.
The ability to reach out to my friends and family again
on FB.
Everyday, knowing I have a choice to suit up and show 
up for life...and take beautiful souls with me on my journey.
So grateful for my family that has really rode this rollercoaster
with me...and even chops the fruit & veggies and waters the flowers!

How about you?

Healing hugs,
Alicia

PS...I really missed you all :)

Life Happened...now what? Choices: 2. ~ Give life your all or give up ©

"Never, never, never, never give up" ~ Winston Churchill

My friends, that is a quote that always reminds me of my
son...who never, ever gives up.   He inspires me.

We all can find people in our lives who inspire us,
ones who help keep us going one more day.

I promised you I would continue this blog with my
top 10 Choices...Life Happened...now what?

These days, we all have many reasons to give up.
Especially if you, like me, had your life turned upside down.

You may have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis...
have to take harsh medicine which take perhaps a year to work...
all the while, you are sick and feel like giving up.

Don't.   I didn't.    I almost did though.

In the meantime, you may have had to take time off from work
to get well...and maybe your company "let you go"...
and you absolutely feel like giving up.

Don't.  I didn't.   I almost did though.

As you start to feel better with your medicine regimen,
your tests come back that you have an inflamed liver
and your heart is not acting right...
Now, you are ready to throw in the towel...
to really give up...

Don't.  I didn't.   I almost did though.

You give life your all ~ eating right, exercising,
resting, living by the golden rule,
and your medical news keeps knocking you down...
and you and your partner can't understand what more
you can do to beat this thing...

Don't give up.   We aren't...

I wake up everyday grateful ~
grateful for a trip to see my ma,
for a movie with my dude, to have a great talk
with my geel, to show the boyz how to cook,
to laugh with family and friends, walk with my pets,
to schnuggle with my brit, pray to my angels, and to share
with all of you...

Yeah, I could give up...
But I'd miss all that good stuff.

Healing hugs,

Alicia