Rest? Slow down? Listen to my body?
HA!
Well, let me tell you something about me.
Shhhh, don't tell anyone.
I tell my body off everyday.
Who wants to listen to a body like mine? Who?
With a mind that goes a million miles an hour...
Has an entrepreneurial spirit ~
Is very alive! enthusiastic! energetic!
But a body that is busted up, bruised, stiff,
slow, battered, sick and weak.
Heck, I walk and feel like an elderly woman.
This is a giant "difference of opinion", if you will...
My mind has been trying to win this argument.
But my body
is a great debater.
It is now forcing my mind to give in.
How, you may ask...
I just hit walls now.
*BAM* and I am down and out...
for a nap.
I am a one way ticket ~ anywhere.
Perhaps I may make plans to go someplace local
but I might hit the wall on the way home ~
*bam* while driving is not a safe idea.
So I don't travel. Even to my doctors in Boston ~
Or to see my Mom.
So, I am making a new decision.
This first year of my new diagnosis with Rheumatoid Arthritis
has been challenging, eye-opening, enriching, scary ~
but a journey of continuous learning, and of self-awareness.
One of the biggest tools in my
"Toolbox for Life"
has been resting.
Yup.
My body won.
My body won the debate.
Trust me when I say, my mind is a great debater,
and didn't want to lose this one...
However, since I have been taking naps often~
Meditating everyday,
truly listening to my body when it is crashing...
I am getting better.
Not even close to where
I want to be...but baby steps.
Now, imagine if I listen to my body ~
Before it crashes.
Healing hugs,
~Alicia
6 comments:
i get it all. I am you, i was you, and will be again.
One thing I've learned to do is to take the battered and old body image and work really hard at visualizing the youthful, healthy and sexy version....not always easy, but when I manage the mind-game visual, I stick with it as long as possible, sometimes until it comes true!!
Thank you for writing Sharon! You are a great woman to have in my life! I can't wait to learn more about your story and accomplishments ~ how you deal with the ebbs and flows. So glad my words spoke to you. That means so much. Yeah, when I was walking with the Brit...I can only feel sexy, even when I say "I look and walk like a grammy". We are both lucky to have supportive people in our lives ...and to have each other. xo
Sharon- I love what you wrote. Sometimes I feel like the last thing I am is sexy! My poor husband! He has to deal with me on my worst days.
Has anyone read Water For Elephants? I just started reading it and in the beginning there is so much written about what it's like to be old and in your 90s. What it feels like to be frustrated that your body isn't working the way it used to. And it's awful that I can relate to it!! Gah!
Anyways, I started following this blog and I'll keep reading if you keep posting! xoxo
Lyda, If you keep commenting - I'll keep writing :) ! We all help each other. Let's try to never forget who we are at our core ~ strong, attractive women. Women who happened to get these nasty diseases in the prime of our lives. Together, I know, we will come up with solutions ~ even if it is the support of our words. ~ a xoxo
Thank you thank you thank you. Today I am listening to my body and resting. I struggle to do this without shame or guilt. Your words have helped me today.
Linda ~ bless you. Shame and guilt are such a big part of acceptance...to move forward we have to push those nasty things aside ... knowing that we are doing what we have to do. Thank YOU! I hope you feel better after resting. ~ a
p.s. you may have given me a topic to write about after I finish my top 10! You all inspire me. Keep writing and helping each other.
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